Assignment #8 - The Second Shift

1. According to Hochshild, what is the “Second Shift?”

According to Hochschild (1989), the “Second Shift” is the end of one’s day when a person is finished working their “First Shift”, typically at one’s full-time job or just the time of their day during which they are away from home. A “Second Shift” consists of various different tasks that one still has left to do after completing their “First Shift” of the day. These tasks and responsibilities include jobs such as “shopping, cooking, paying bills; taking care of the car, the garden, and yard” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 2), maintaining satisfactory relationships with relatives and neighbors, and taking care of the children and pets, if any (Hochschild, 1989, p. 2).

Hochschild (1989) also discusses the significance of a couple’s ability to maintain an appropriate emotional balance between one’s life at home, their job outside of the house, their spouse, and their children in regards to the “Second Shift” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 2). Evan and Nancy’s story express the importance of being able to equally balance the “Second Shift” tasks between husband and wife to avoid one spouse, in many cases the wife, from feeling as if they are completing all of the “Second Shift” responsibilities by themselves (Hochschild, 1989). Their story supports the belief that “girls and women perform more household labor than their male peers – even when they work full-time” (C. Gager, personal communication, July 6, 2011).

2. Briefly describe the story of Evan and Nancy Holt.

Evan and Nancy Holt are a married couple in their thirties with a four-year old son named Joey. They are a dual-earner family, with Nancy working as a social worker and Evan, a warehouse furniture salesman. Nancy describes herself as a feminist, an egalitarian, and a liberal throughout Hochschild’s article (Hochschild, 1989). She is very compulsive and in many ways, I believe, strives to be a perfectionist both at home and with her career. Nancy is very involved with her family and her extreme attachment to Joey is very evident. Evan, on the other hand, is more isolated from Evan and Nancy’s “home life”. He expresses a fairly distant relationship with his son and believes it to be normal and typical. At one point in the article, Evan claims that “little kids need their moms more than they need their dads” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 1). Although he eventually shows more effort towards developing a closer relationship with Joey, Joey still exhibits much more closeness to Nancy. Both Evan and Nancy state that Joey has a “problem”, which is explained as his desire to stay awake all night rather than going to bed at 8:00 when Nancy and Evan begin trying to put him to sleep. Not surprisingly, Joey’s problem because Nancy’s problem and she becomes fully responsible for getting Joey to sleep each night. As a result, the couple believes that Joey also has a negative impact on their sex life, especially when Joey decides he only wants to sleep in their bed with them during the night (Hochschild, 1989).

Nancy and Evan Holt display a lot of struggle with balancing the tasks which need to be finished during their “Second Shift”. When asked about the division of household labor between the two, Nancy claims that “she was doing 80 percent of the housework and 90 percent of the childcare” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 2). Not ironically, Evan only believes that Nancy completes “60 percent of the housework, 70 percent of the childcare” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 2). Nonetheless, this still leaves Nancy doing more than half of the “Second Shift” all on her own, giving Evan much more leisure time than Nancy is allowed. This leads to frequent conflict between Nancy and Evan.

Both Nancy and Evan bump heads when it comes to their gender ideologies (Hochschild, 1989, p. 3). Due to the fact that Nancy had a mother who lived her life as a housewife and as a result, was treated inferior to Nancy’s father and in turn, was very depressed and lacked self-confidence, Nancy had ambition to be anything except for like her mother (Hochschild, 1989, p. 3). Nancy wanted to have her own life, her own dreams. She believes that her desires should be just as important as Evan’s, yet Evan feels somewhat differently. Nancy states that “if you want to be happy, develop a career and get your husband to share at home” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 3). She attended college and works as a social worker because she loves doing that. Evan does not have a problem with Nancy having her own career, as long as she can take care of the family as well (Hochschild, 1989, p. 1). As much as Nancy strives to get Evan to help with the “Second Shift” at home, he finds excuses not to do so. Eventually, Nancy ends up creating a program which they refer to as the “upstairs-downstairs agreement” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 5). Although Nancy still wishes Evan would do more around the house than just taking care of the dog and maintaining the cleanliness of the garage, she fears divorce and convinces herself to believe that this agreement is the resolution to Evan and Nancy’s tension regarding the balance of the “Second Shift” (Hochschild, 1989).

3. Hochschild argues that families create “myths” about their division of household labor. Describe the family myth created by Nancy and Evan Holt.

The family myth created by Nancy and Evan Holt focused on an “equal” arrangement or balance of household chores and other family tasks in order to exhibit equality of roles and responsibilities between the husband and the wife to prevent conflict. Their agreement was described as an “upstairs and downstairs”/“inside and outside” arrangement, in reference to the tasks that Evan and Nancy were each responsible for fulfilling. The “upstairs-downstairs agreement” means that Nancy deals with the upstairs of the house which includes “the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, two bedrooms, and two baths” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 5). Evan, on the other hand, gets the downstairs of the house which consists of the garage, their car, and the dog (Hochschild, 1989, p. 5). For Nancy, this agreement mainly involves “dissociating the inequity in the second shift from the inequity in their marriage, dividing all of her own work in the new schedule into shifts, and suppressing any comparison between her hours of her leisure and Evan’s” (Hochschild, 1989, pp. 6-7). To make this agreement work “effectively”, Nancy even cut her hours at her career. Nancy mentioned many times during her story that she wanted Evan to appreciate all she does and just be grateful towards her. For Nancy, Evan expressing his love meant helping with the “Second Shift”, even something as simple as cooking dinner or washing the dishes. Evan, however, felt that Nancy showed her love when they were making love. Clearly, Nancy and Evan have two very different portrayals regarding the expression of love. In accordance with Hochschild (1989), Nancy “had to bring herself to believe the myth that the upstairs-downstairs division of housework was fair, and that it had resolved her struggle with Evan” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 6).

4. According to Hochschild, what is the purpose of family myths?

In reference to Hochschild (1989), the purpose of the upstairs-downstairs agreement for Nancy and Evan holt was “an attempt to agree that there was no conflict over the second shift, no tension between their versions of manhood and womanhood, and that the powerful crisis that had arisen was temporary and minor” (Hochschild, 1989, p. 5). To further explain, family myths are created in order to allow couples to believe that there are no problems or conflicts in their family, and in Nancy and Evan’s case, specifically their marriage. Although technically, family myths cannot permanently erase difficulties presented within a family, they provide a strategy which makes individuals believe that all of their problems have been resolved and that they are truly “happy”.

5. Was this reading surprising to you and why? How do you imagine you will divide family work (including child care) in your own marriage or cohabitation?

This reading was not surprising to me at all. I know many married couples who still believe in the traditional roles of husband and wife. It was evident in this article that Evan is a husband who is more concerned about being the breadwinner of his family rather than being involved with his family and most importantly, his son. So many of our course readings have illuminated this depiction of marital roles, where the female is expected to do many of the household tasks and the male is responsible for providing financial support and protection to his family.

In regards to my future marriage, I do not think my husband and I are going to be like Evan and Nancy. I believe that for the most part, the division of household labor and family work is going to be fairly equal between my spouse and me. Due to the fact that I am one semester away from obtaining my teacher certification, I plan to start my career path as a teacher. I assume that this will mean that I will be leaving my house before 7:00 or 7:30 in the morning and returning home by 4:00 or 4:30 (depending of the distance of my district from my home). My boyfriend, who I intend on eventually marrying, is most likely going to work later hours than me. Both of us, however, are going to work full-time.

I imagine that we will have anywhere between one and three children. I would think that in the morning, my husband and I will rotate between getting breakfasts and lunches ready and helping our children get ready for their school day. We will also, of course, need to fit getting ourselves ready into our morning schedules. Depending on who has more time in the morning, one of us will drop off our children either at his parents’ house (considering that they will both be retired by the time we are married), or with my parents whenever possible. Most likely, I will be the one who will pick up our children from our parents’ houses or school/day care. While my husband is at work, I will do as much work around the house as I can possibly get done while still spending time with my children. I expect to have dinner ready by the time he gets home from work, unless he is home early enough to make the family dinner instead. As far as bed time is concerned, I think my husband and I will probably take turns putting the children to bed. If we have more than one child, maybe we will even both get our kids down for bed. Considering that I have a lot of experience with children, I know that they can be very picky. I expect there to be nights where they only want Mommy or they just want their Daddy. In the middle of the night when our kids wake up, I think that it will mostly be me who gets up with them due to the fact that I do not require much sleep.

Overall, I think that our schedule will be very flexible. I think that for the “Second Shift” to truly work, it needs to be flexible. There will be some family tasks that I will do and that my husband will do, but for the most part, it is going to be pretty spontaneous. For example, I am probably going to be responsible for doing the laundry, folding the clothes, making the beds, and doing the dishes. Both my husband and I will be in charge of keeping the house clean, including the bathrooms, our bedroom, and the children’s rooms. Tasks such as taking out the garbage will be the responsibility of my husband, for the most part. I also think that if we have a dog, which we plan on having, my husband will be the master and will probably take care of the dog more than I will. I am sure that we will have days where one of us is sick or too busy with our career, and the other spouse will need to do more of the “Second Shift” than the other, but in general, I honestly believe that the division of household work will be divided equally between my future husband and me.

Assignment #7 - Divorce

1) Find a newspaper, magazine, or journal article or blog that discusses any aspect of recent research on divorce. Then:

A. Provide a full reference for the article in APA format at the top of your blog post. This includes the authorname, title of the article, title of the scholarly journal of newspaper/magazine name etc. the title of the article.

Birditt, K. S., Brown, E., McIlvane, J. M., & Orbuch, T. L. (2010). Marital conflict behaviors

and implications for divorce over 16 years. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72, 1188-

1204. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00758.x

2) Then, using what you learned from the Readings by Rutter (#16) and Li (#17) in your RISMAN textbook.

B. Describe and then explain what the divorce statistics mean. Reference both articles to show you have read the chapters. Use your own words, but note page numbers.

In accordance with V. E. Rutter (2010), there was an increase in divorce rates in the United States between the years of 1880 and 1960 (Rutter, 2010, p. 159). After the year 1960 hit, rates of divorce in the United States sky rocketed until 1980, when statistics showed that nearly 50% of all marriages were ending in divorces (Rutter, 2010, p. 159). Since 1980, the rates of divorce have leveled off and the United States has not seen much of a change in divorce statistics, concluding that nearly about half of all marriages are still tending to result in a divorce (Rutter, 2010, p. 159). Similarly, K. S. Birditt, E. Brown, J. M. McIlvane, and T. L. Orbuch (2010), state that “large percentage of marriages end in divorce with estimates ranging from 40% – 50%” (Birditt, Brown, McIlvane, et al., 2010).

In addition to divorce statistics defined as the percentage of individuals whose marriages end in divorces, divorce statistics can also be examined by focusing on characteristics and factors that contribute to the rates of divorce. Rutter (2010) suggests that marriage quality, among many others, is a major factor to be taken into consideration when asked whether divorce is better than staying married for some individuals (Rutter, 2010, p. 165). She states that unhappy marriages can cause many negative outcomes for the couples within that marriage (Rutter, 2010, p. 166). One study discovered that “depression for men and women in unhappy marriages was twenty-five times more likely than for people in happy marriages” (Ruttger, 2010, p. 166). In relation to what Hetherington has found through research studies, for many, “divorce is better than livning in a high-conflict family” (Rutter, 2010, p. 165). This compares with what Birditt, Brown, McIlvane, and Orbuch (2010) found by focusing their research on the impact of marital conflict on divorce (Birditt, Brown, McIlvane, et al., 2010). These researchers examined conflict behaviors evident in the marriages of a sample of White and Black American couples by studying the use of destructive, constructive, and withdrawal behaviors self-reported by these individuals (Birditt, Brown, McIlvane, et al., 2010). Agreeing with Hetherington’s findings, they concluded that the use of conflict behaviors in a marriage predicted the likelihood of a divorce at some point over 16 years of marriage (Birditt, Brown, McIlvane, et al., 2010). Specifically, these researchers found that destructive conflict behaviors typically resulted in a decrease in marriage stability and satisfaction, eventually leading to divorce (Birditt, Brown, McIlvane, et al., 2010).

Although Birditt, Brown, McIlvane, and Orbuch’s (2010) research did not focus on the effect that troubled marriages have on children, if one were to use J. A. Li’s (2010) results to determine the impact that the use of conflict behaviors in a marriage can have on children, one could assume that a marriage that has high levels of conflict may or may not serve as a positive environment for the children of that struggling couple. To use myself as an example, my parents have always seen situations on different pages. Although the tension between my parents was never huge, it gradually worsened as my sister and I got older. At the beginning of this month, my parents finally finalized their divorce after twenty-three years of being married. I do not feel that this has had a negative impact on me but rather, it’s made me realize the importance of honesty and communication in relationships. My story is a perfect example of what Li suggested when he said that “one must admit that while certain divorces harm children, others benefit them” (Li, 2010, p. 176). Although I am sad that my parents were not able to remain married, I do feel that their divorce caused me to be better with the relationships in my own life and have such honest communication with others. Therefore, although researchers have in fact discovered that conflict in a marriage can have negative impacts on the couple as well as their children, divorce can be a positive thing sometimes, too.

C. Discuss whether or not the research/statistics seem accurate and evaluate the method used or the sample population.

I definitely think that the research and statistics in the journal article that I found seem accurate. I have learned over and over again that the divorce rate in the United States is around 50%, and the researchers in the article have only confirmed that statistic. Considering that the researchers also used random samples in their study, I feel that I can trust their findings and believe that they are not bias. The sample population that the researchers in this study used were White and Black American couples who were anywhere between newlyweds and couples who have been married for up to 16 years. I have learned through this course that random samples are among the best research methods to be used, so I support the method that the researchers in my article implemented in their study.

D. How could the research be improved?

One obvious way that I believe this research could have been improved would have been if researchers used a more diverse sample of participants. Although I know that it is difficult and that the results in this study suggested that race is not a significant factor for determining causes of divorce, I still think that they could have used more races or even couples who are already divorced to fill out their surveys and questionnaires regarding conflict behaviors. I also feel that the surveys, questionnaires, and interviews could have been more detailed. Rather than breaking down conflict behaviors into three categories (destructive, constructive, withdrawal), they could have been more specific in asking questions about what causes these conflicts, the duration that these conflict behaviors lasted, etc. By conducting more in-depth interviews, I think that the researchers could have obtained greater amounts of useful information from their participants.

Assignment #6 - Marriage

According to the reading by Julian Sanchez pp: 313-320 in your Risman text:

1) Identify one of the examples of ancient marriage described by the author and discuss how it differed from the "one man, one woman idea" of marriage

One of the examples of ancient marriage, as described by Julian Sanchez (2006), focuses on how many Native American groups differed from the “one man, one woman idea” of marriage. According to Sanchez (2006), many Native Americans were more concerned about a “diversity of gender in marriage rather than diversity of biological sex” (Sanchez, 2006, p. 314). In other words, these Native Americans groups only cared that one person was completing the “man’s work” and that the other person was doing the “woman’s work” (Sanchez, 2006, p. 314). For example, it made no difference whether the man was fulfilling the stereotypical male gender roles of being the primary income earner and the “voice” of his family, or if instead, he was carrying out the stereotypical female gender roles such as cooking and taking care of the children. As long as both the male and female roles and requirements were being fulfilled, the marriage was a good one.

This differs from the “one man, one woman” idea in an obvious way. In regards to the “one man, one woman idea”, typically the male spouse would be doing the “man” work while the female spouse would be expected to fulfill the “woman” tasks. However, among many Native American groups, it made no difference whether the female was doing the women’s jobs or the male was completing the men’s work, as long as one person was getting the women’s work done and one person was fulfilling the men’s responsibilities.

2) Among which two groups has postponing marriage become the most likely? Why?

Postponing marriage has become the most likely among middle-class couples and poor, or lower-class, couples. In accordance with Sanchez (2006), many middle-class individuals delay marriage “in order to attend college, perhaps obtain a graduate degree, and establish themselves in careers” (Sanchez, 2006, p. 317). It has also been discovered that as economic enticements altered for women, such as entering the work force and pursing higher education to obtain better careers, their expectations regarding the age at which was appropriate to marry changed as well. These responses were found with middle-class women in particular (Sanchez, 2006, p. 318). Moreover, a major reason that it has become common for poor couples to postpone marriage is primarily due to the fact that many of them do not want to marry until they feel that they are economically stable enough to marry (Sanchez, 2006, p. 318). As found in the studies on poor single mothers in Philadelphia, conducted by Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas, many women were hesitant of committing to a man for reasons including the man’s criminal history, drug and/or alcohol addictions, inappropriate actions and habits, negative changes of attitude and behavior after discovering they are going to bear a child, and acts of infidelity (Sanchez, 2006, pp. 318-319). Large percentages of women in Edin and Kefalas’ research study also feared that “marriage would change their partners for the worse – making them more controlling” (Sanchez, 2006, p. 319). Moreover, although most poor women state that they want to wait to marry until they are economically independent, many will still proceed to bear children if they have no plans of obtaining higher education (Sanchez, 2006, p. 318). In conclusion, the main reasons for postponement of marriage among middle-class couples and poor couples centered on careers and economical satisfaction.

3) List all the wedding traditions in the clip.

There were many wedding traditions that were evident in this clip from “Sex and the City”. An obvious wedding tradition that I saw in this clip was that the bride wore a white dress on her wedding day. Prior to her wedding day, the groom was not allowed to see the bride in her wedding dress due to the fact that it is considered to be bad luck, which was another tradition that I observed. At the beginning of Harry and Charlotte’s wedding ceremony, the Kohen gave his blessing and stated that there must be two witnesses in the audience, which I learned is a well known tradition seen in many weddings. Other traditions that I saw in the Jewish wedding shown in this clip were that Charlotte and Harry were married by a Kohen (the Jewish name for “priest”), they were standing under a Chuppah (marriage canopy), there was a lifting of the bride’s veil to reveal her face, they both drank out of a cup, Harry placed a wedding ring on Charlotte’s left ring finger once they both drank out of the cup, and Harry smashed the glass after putting the ring on Charlotte. After smashing the glass, the bride and groom kissed, which is another huge wedding tradition. Lastly, Harry and Charlotte walked down the aisle together as a married couple once the Chuppah ceremony had ended, as is seen is many weddings.

4) Choose one tradition and do a little research on-line - what is the history behind that tradition.

I chose to perform research on the wedding tradition of having witnesses at a wedding. In a Jewish wedding, there must be two “kosher” witnesses who are responsible for signing all Jewish documents required of them. These witnesses are not allowed to be family members of the bride and groom by any means whatsoever. The Torah suggests that the dedication and commitment of the bride and the groom to one another is displayed through “the giving of a valuable - money or ring - (to the woman), the presentation of a document, or through intimate living together” (Jewish-American History Foundation, 2011). Therefore, in Jewish wedding ceremonies, these three acts are performed in three segments. First, the Choson (the groom) gives a ring to the Kallah (the bride) which meets the requirement of exchanging a valuable. Next, the Ketubah, also known as the marriage contract, is given to the Kallah, presenting a document. Lastly, once the Chuppah ceremony is complete, the bride and groom go to a private room where they break their fast and express their intimacy, fulfilling the act of intimate living together.

The purpose that the two witnesses serve in a Jewish wedding are that they must stand under the Chuppah, or the “marriage canopy that symbolizes the couple's first home together” (Katz, 2011), and attest that all three aspects of marriage have taken place in accordance with the laws of "Moses and Israel” (Jewish-American History Foundation, 2011). Moreover, I learned from my research on this tradition that all Jewish legal procedures, not just Jewish wedding ceremonies, must be confirmed by two “kosher witnesses”, at the minimum, which I found to be interesting (Jewish-American History Foundation, 2011).

5) Write about a paragraph about the origin of the tradition and whether you will include this in your own wedding - if you plan on having one.

I am not entirely sure of the exact origin of having at least two witnesses present at a wedding, and I was having difficulty researching about it. As far as I understand, most legal procedures do typically require witnesses to be there in order to verify and support the process at hand. Although I am going to have a Catholic wedding rather than a Jewish wedding, I am still going to include the tradition of having at least two witnesses present at my wedding. In order to validate my marriage and have it recognized under civil law, I understand that legally I will have to have to witnesses present during my wedding ceremony (Catholic Wedding Help, 2011). Unlike the Jewish wedding ceremonies which require the two witnesses to be “kosher”, Catholic wedding ceremonies have no rules regarding the religious backgrounds of the witnesses. Usually in Catholic weddings, the two witnesses of the marriage are the bride’s maid of honor and the groom’s best man. Therefore, when I get married, one of my witnesses will be my sister, who is going to be my maid of honor when I do get married. The other witness will be my husband’s best man. If I eventually marry my current boyfriend, as I hope to do so, his brother will serve as his best man and also our second witness.

References

Catholic Wedding Help. (2011). Choosing roles for family and friends. CatholicWeddingHelp.

com. Retrieved from http://catholicweddinghelp.com/wedding-planning/09-choose-roles.

htm

Jewish-American History Foundation. (2011). The Jewish Wedding Guide. Jewish-American

History Documentation Foundation. Retrieved from http://www.jewish-history.com/

minhag.htm#edim

Katz, L. (2011). What is a chuppah. About.com. Retrieved from http://judaism.about.com/cs/

jewishweddings/f/Chuppah.htm