Assignment #6 - Marriage

According to the reading by Julian Sanchez pp: 313-320 in your Risman text:

1) Identify one of the examples of ancient marriage described by the author and discuss how it differed from the "one man, one woman idea" of marriage

One of the examples of ancient marriage, as described by Julian Sanchez (2006), focuses on how many Native American groups differed from the “one man, one woman idea” of marriage. According to Sanchez (2006), many Native Americans were more concerned about a “diversity of gender in marriage rather than diversity of biological sex” (Sanchez, 2006, p. 314). In other words, these Native Americans groups only cared that one person was completing the “man’s work” and that the other person was doing the “woman’s work” (Sanchez, 2006, p. 314). For example, it made no difference whether the man was fulfilling the stereotypical male gender roles of being the primary income earner and the “voice” of his family, or if instead, he was carrying out the stereotypical female gender roles such as cooking and taking care of the children. As long as both the male and female roles and requirements were being fulfilled, the marriage was a good one.

This differs from the “one man, one woman” idea in an obvious way. In regards to the “one man, one woman idea”, typically the male spouse would be doing the “man” work while the female spouse would be expected to fulfill the “woman” tasks. However, among many Native American groups, it made no difference whether the female was doing the women’s jobs or the male was completing the men’s work, as long as one person was getting the women’s work done and one person was fulfilling the men’s responsibilities.

2) Among which two groups has postponing marriage become the most likely? Why?

Postponing marriage has become the most likely among middle-class couples and poor, or lower-class, couples. In accordance with Sanchez (2006), many middle-class individuals delay marriage “in order to attend college, perhaps obtain a graduate degree, and establish themselves in careers” (Sanchez, 2006, p. 317). It has also been discovered that as economic enticements altered for women, such as entering the work force and pursing higher education to obtain better careers, their expectations regarding the age at which was appropriate to marry changed as well. These responses were found with middle-class women in particular (Sanchez, 2006, p. 318). Moreover, a major reason that it has become common for poor couples to postpone marriage is primarily due to the fact that many of them do not want to marry until they feel that they are economically stable enough to marry (Sanchez, 2006, p. 318). As found in the studies on poor single mothers in Philadelphia, conducted by Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas, many women were hesitant of committing to a man for reasons including the man’s criminal history, drug and/or alcohol addictions, inappropriate actions and habits, negative changes of attitude and behavior after discovering they are going to bear a child, and acts of infidelity (Sanchez, 2006, pp. 318-319). Large percentages of women in Edin and Kefalas’ research study also feared that “marriage would change their partners for the worse – making them more controlling” (Sanchez, 2006, p. 319). Moreover, although most poor women state that they want to wait to marry until they are economically independent, many will still proceed to bear children if they have no plans of obtaining higher education (Sanchez, 2006, p. 318). In conclusion, the main reasons for postponement of marriage among middle-class couples and poor couples centered on careers and economical satisfaction.

3) List all the wedding traditions in the clip.

There were many wedding traditions that were evident in this clip from “Sex and the City”. An obvious wedding tradition that I saw in this clip was that the bride wore a white dress on her wedding day. Prior to her wedding day, the groom was not allowed to see the bride in her wedding dress due to the fact that it is considered to be bad luck, which was another tradition that I observed. At the beginning of Harry and Charlotte’s wedding ceremony, the Kohen gave his blessing and stated that there must be two witnesses in the audience, which I learned is a well known tradition seen in many weddings. Other traditions that I saw in the Jewish wedding shown in this clip were that Charlotte and Harry were married by a Kohen (the Jewish name for “priest”), they were standing under a Chuppah (marriage canopy), there was a lifting of the bride’s veil to reveal her face, they both drank out of a cup, Harry placed a wedding ring on Charlotte’s left ring finger once they both drank out of the cup, and Harry smashed the glass after putting the ring on Charlotte. After smashing the glass, the bride and groom kissed, which is another huge wedding tradition. Lastly, Harry and Charlotte walked down the aisle together as a married couple once the Chuppah ceremony had ended, as is seen is many weddings.

4) Choose one tradition and do a little research on-line - what is the history behind that tradition.

I chose to perform research on the wedding tradition of having witnesses at a wedding. In a Jewish wedding, there must be two “kosher” witnesses who are responsible for signing all Jewish documents required of them. These witnesses are not allowed to be family members of the bride and groom by any means whatsoever. The Torah suggests that the dedication and commitment of the bride and the groom to one another is displayed through “the giving of a valuable - money or ring - (to the woman), the presentation of a document, or through intimate living together” (Jewish-American History Foundation, 2011). Therefore, in Jewish wedding ceremonies, these three acts are performed in three segments. First, the Choson (the groom) gives a ring to the Kallah (the bride) which meets the requirement of exchanging a valuable. Next, the Ketubah, also known as the marriage contract, is given to the Kallah, presenting a document. Lastly, once the Chuppah ceremony is complete, the bride and groom go to a private room where they break their fast and express their intimacy, fulfilling the act of intimate living together.

The purpose that the two witnesses serve in a Jewish wedding are that they must stand under the Chuppah, or the “marriage canopy that symbolizes the couple's first home together” (Katz, 2011), and attest that all three aspects of marriage have taken place in accordance with the laws of "Moses and Israel” (Jewish-American History Foundation, 2011). Moreover, I learned from my research on this tradition that all Jewish legal procedures, not just Jewish wedding ceremonies, must be confirmed by two “kosher witnesses”, at the minimum, which I found to be interesting (Jewish-American History Foundation, 2011).

5) Write about a paragraph about the origin of the tradition and whether you will include this in your own wedding - if you plan on having one.

I am not entirely sure of the exact origin of having at least two witnesses present at a wedding, and I was having difficulty researching about it. As far as I understand, most legal procedures do typically require witnesses to be there in order to verify and support the process at hand. Although I am going to have a Catholic wedding rather than a Jewish wedding, I am still going to include the tradition of having at least two witnesses present at my wedding. In order to validate my marriage and have it recognized under civil law, I understand that legally I will have to have to witnesses present during my wedding ceremony (Catholic Wedding Help, 2011). Unlike the Jewish wedding ceremonies which require the two witnesses to be “kosher”, Catholic wedding ceremonies have no rules regarding the religious backgrounds of the witnesses. Usually in Catholic weddings, the two witnesses of the marriage are the bride’s maid of honor and the groom’s best man. Therefore, when I get married, one of my witnesses will be my sister, who is going to be my maid of honor when I do get married. The other witness will be my husband’s best man. If I eventually marry my current boyfriend, as I hope to do so, his brother will serve as his best man and also our second witness.

References

Catholic Wedding Help. (2011). Choosing roles for family and friends. CatholicWeddingHelp.

com. Retrieved from http://catholicweddinghelp.com/wedding-planning/09-choose-roles.

htm

Jewish-American History Foundation. (2011). The Jewish Wedding Guide. Jewish-American

History Documentation Foundation. Retrieved from http://www.jewish-history.com/

minhag.htm#edim

Katz, L. (2011). What is a chuppah. About.com. Retrieved from http://judaism.about.com/cs/

jewishweddings/f/Chuppah.htm